Fine, I'll Do It Myself.

I think a good business would be to sell fake security system signs and window stickers and then go rob the houses of the people who bought them.

Because we crack ourselves up.

"I'm looking at reviews for hotels in Costa Rica and it’s funny because they say stuff like this:

What reviewers have said about this hotel:

-Friendly and helpful

-Very knowledgeable

-howler monkey"

"Is howler monkey a plus or minus? For me it would probably be a plus."

"It’s a plus for me. I am in favor of howler monkeys. One website kept talking about cappuccino monkeys. I don’t think that’s what they’re called…"

"Maybe they are trained to bring you cappuccinos.  That would be nice."

"Oh, that’d be so cute."

"And handy."

"It sounds like they have an abundance of monkeys down there so if they’re not already trained to do tasks, someone should definitely get on that."

"Yeah. Like those little hamsters that yell “row” in that Geico commercial."

"Yeah. I better see trained monkeys all over the place."

"They probably carry your luggage and stuff."

"And maybe fan me with palm fronds or whatever. And maybe they can bring me bananas straight from the tree..."