Fine, I'll Do It Myself.

I think a good business would be to sell fake security system signs and window stickers and then go rob the houses of the people who bought them.

Because we crack ourselves up.

"I'm looking at reviews for hotels in Costa Rica and it’s funny because they say stuff like this:

What reviewers have said about this hotel:

-Friendly and helpful

-Very knowledgeable

-howler monkey"

"Is howler monkey a plus or minus? For me it would probably be a plus."

"It’s a plus for me. I am in favor of howler monkeys. One website kept talking about cappuccino monkeys. I don’t think that’s what they’re called…"

"Maybe they are trained to bring you cappuccinos.  That would be nice."

"Oh, that’d be so cute."

"And handy."

"It sounds like they have an abundance of monkeys down there so if they’re not already trained to do tasks, someone should definitely get on that."

"Yeah. Like those little hamsters that yell “row” in that Geico commercial."

"Yeah. I better see trained monkeys all over the place."

"They probably carry your luggage and stuff."

"And maybe fan me with palm fronds or whatever. And maybe they can bring me bananas straight from the tree..."

Remain calm and look at this giraffe.

I would like to let the people of Tucson in on a little secret.
People of Tucson,
This might come as a surprise to you.
You should know that you do not need to slow down for speed cameras.
I know.
It's pretty shocking.
A real game-changer.
You can cruise right past those cameras-
get this-
at the posted speed limit.
I'll let that process for a moment.
I don't want to rock your world too much,
but you can actually even speed past them.
Yep.
Unbelievable, I know, and yet- true.
Trust me.
Next time you're out and about,
and you encounter a speed camera,
just give it a try.
Resist the urge to slow down to 5 miles below the limit.
You don't have to sneak past them.
Just act cool.
Drive normally.
Live a little.
You might like it.

I know the people of Tucson don't read this blog but if I don't vent about this minor annoyance here I might have road rage.

Let's all just be calm.

Why don't we just look at this giraffe.
Why hello, giraffe.

You are lovely.

As Cold As The Clay

When I'm going to church, I turn onto a road called Pecos Way.
Pecos Way makes me think of Pecos Bill Rides a Tornado.
For some reason I can't quite explain,
Pecos Bill rides a Tornado reminds me of The Streets of Laredo.
Then I have to sing The Streets of Laredo.
What a strange, depressing song.

It's a weasel.

You can stop holding your breath now because I am finally ready to show you my Thanksgiving photos.
Thank goodness, I know.
Anyhow.
Let's see what I have in my little bag of tricks.

Fall leaves.

Turns out I'm kind of obsessed with headstones, etc. Just look at how pretty they are. And creepy!

Jefferson Davis surveying his territory, or something.

Extreme close-up of a grave angel.

Sooo...I guess that's that. Ha. A lot of buildup over nothing, huh? This is my blog, that's how I roll.
Ok, I just made up a New Year's resolution to keep this blog filled up with interesting, frequent posts.
Nah, not really. But I will try harder. Because maybe you are bored at work and you need something to read and maybe I can help you. I understand that. Do de do. Bored already, friends, bored with this already.