I have a new plan and the plan is goats.
Listen to this. I heard about a contest- an essay contest- where the winner takes possession of a goat farm. 200 words about why you should have a goat farm, a $150 entry fee, and boom, goat city.

Oh. Yes.
Here's why I need a goat farm:

Baby goats.
Goat cheese.
I like to watch that Taylor Swift/screaming goats mash-up video on YouTube.
Also fainting goats are funny.

Obviously this is just a rough outline- I'm not going to post my goat-winning essay on the internet so that some unimaginative dimwit can copy it and steal that farm right out from under me. But I think the plan is solid. The one downside is that the goats are in Arkansas and I'm not terribly interested in living in Arkansas. But, you know, sometimes you have to be willing to make sacrifices for the greater good. (The good, in this instance, being those poor motherless goats, I guess.)

Yeah, so, I have this all worked out, and in October you'll probably be hearing from me when I've moved to Arkansas and taken ownership of my new flock of 85 goats. Do goats travel in flocks? Clearly I have a few things to learn about the goat business but there's sure to be plenty of time for sorting out minor details like that.

Goats! Yes!


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