As Seen On TV
We've all watched them- those infomercials for that gadget you absolutely must. have. now. How have I lived my life without this amazing innovation? you ask yourself. How, indeed.
I will start by saying that I have never actually called the number on the commercial to order something. Thank you, internet, for saving me from that slight injustice. And yet I have, as it turns out, quite an assortment of these products in my house.
My first foray into the As Seen On TV world was The Perfect Pancake. This came about as a half-joke from my college roommate. The Perfect Pancake is meant to save you from those times when you're trying to flip a pancake and instead it folds over on itself, batter flies all over your kitchen, you burn your hand and also set the stove on fire. What? That's never happened to you? Well, it happens to most of us and that is why you need the Perfect Pancake. It's like a frying pad with an attached lid and you just flip it in one smooth motion- easy as pie! Except it totally doesn't work. There's a 1-inch space between the lid and the pan and that is ample room for pancake batter to slide right out as you flip. So, the Perfect Pancake now resides in the garage.
Next up is the Magic Bullet. I know you've seen this one. I own the fake version but I still watch the commercials where that British guy whips up everything from nachos to margaritas to omelets in the Magic Bullet. It replaces your food processer, blender, mixer, coffee grinder, sink, basically everything in your kitchen. The faux Magic Bullet, at least, works pretty well. I've used it to make frozen drinks and chop up cookies for a cheesecake crust. A few weeks ago I was going to make a blended coffee drink and when I got it all set up, something overheated and the plastic bits on the blender melted off. What's more, my coffee-milk-ice mixture was trapped inside the blender cup and no one could get the lid off. So after letting it sit around for approximately 3 weeks, I threw the whole mess in the trash and that was the end of the faux Magic Bullet.
You can't turn on daytime TV without coming across at least one infomercial for a workout product. For me it was the Bender Ball, this green rubber ball about the size of a volleyball that you use to do crunches and all sorts of other ab work. It was mine for only $9.99 plus shipping and handling. It came with DVDs and stuff to follow along with. I did the workout a couple of times. It made me really sore, so I'm sure it worked, but I lost interest quickly and the Bender Ball has since taken up residence high in the closet, where it taunts me every time I open the door.
Another amazing product not available in stores was the Betty Crocker Bake & Fill pan, this dome-shaped cake pan with an insert that you can use to make hollow cakes, which can then be filled with ice cream, frosting, puppies, whatever. This one I actually asked for and received for Christmas from my mom. I've only used it once, to make an ice cream cake, but it's pretty cool and if I ever really had occasion to make cakes, I think it would see a lot more action. I sometimes forget that I own it and then I'll be in the closet and see it and be like, Oh, Betty Crocker Bake & Fill pan! You will amaze my friends! So, two enthusiastic thumbs up for this one, which actually is available all over the place.
You'd think I'd have learned my lesson with the Bender Ball- I'm not good with working out. I don't go to the gym, I don't go running, and I don't do workout tapes. But when I happened to catch the infomercial for Slim in 6 a few weeks ago, I knew, I just knew, that this was the one! This was the one that would work, and that I would stick to, and that would make me slim. Hopefully in 6. At first the infomercial said it was 5 easy payments of $19.99 and I was like, $100? Nah, way too much. But you know how those infomercials are. There's always more, more, more! If I called now, they'd make it just 3 payments of $19.99. And if I order now, I'd also get resistance bands, a $20 value, FREE! And if I order now, they'd include some other workout tape, and a measuring tape to see how fat I am, and a diet plan, and a bunch of other booklets! Ahhhhh! And for calling within the next 15 minutes, they'll upgrade me to express shipping for no charge, and I can get started right away! You win, Slim in 6, I'll order now. Click, click, credit card, and bam, 2 days later I am the proud owner of the Slim in 6 workout package. I bought it with the promise to myself that I will use it. Today was day 2 and I'm so sore that I can barely walk. It's totally kicking my butt. Ugh. That is probably more of a sign of my out-of-shapeness than the quality of the workout program, but I'm determined to stick this one out.
Now if I could only get my hands on that Slap-Chop...
I will start by saying that I have never actually called the number on the commercial to order something. Thank you, internet, for saving me from that slight injustice. And yet I have, as it turns out, quite an assortment of these products in my house.
My first foray into the As Seen On TV world was The Perfect Pancake. This came about as a half-joke from my college roommate. The Perfect Pancake is meant to save you from those times when you're trying to flip a pancake and instead it folds over on itself, batter flies all over your kitchen, you burn your hand and also set the stove on fire. What? That's never happened to you? Well, it happens to most of us and that is why you need the Perfect Pancake. It's like a frying pad with an attached lid and you just flip it in one smooth motion- easy as pie! Except it totally doesn't work. There's a 1-inch space between the lid and the pan and that is ample room for pancake batter to slide right out as you flip. So, the Perfect Pancake now resides in the garage.
Next up is the Magic Bullet. I know you've seen this one. I own the fake version but I still watch the commercials where that British guy whips up everything from nachos to margaritas to omelets in the Magic Bullet. It replaces your food processer, blender, mixer, coffee grinder, sink, basically everything in your kitchen. The faux Magic Bullet, at least, works pretty well. I've used it to make frozen drinks and chop up cookies for a cheesecake crust. A few weeks ago I was going to make a blended coffee drink and when I got it all set up, something overheated and the plastic bits on the blender melted off. What's more, my coffee-milk-ice mixture was trapped inside the blender cup and no one could get the lid off. So after letting it sit around for approximately 3 weeks, I threw the whole mess in the trash and that was the end of the faux Magic Bullet.
You can't turn on daytime TV without coming across at least one infomercial for a workout product. For me it was the Bender Ball, this green rubber ball about the size of a volleyball that you use to do crunches and all sorts of other ab work. It was mine for only $9.99 plus shipping and handling. It came with DVDs and stuff to follow along with. I did the workout a couple of times. It made me really sore, so I'm sure it worked, but I lost interest quickly and the Bender Ball has since taken up residence high in the closet, where it taunts me every time I open the door.
Another amazing product not available in stores was the Betty Crocker Bake & Fill pan, this dome-shaped cake pan with an insert that you can use to make hollow cakes, which can then be filled with ice cream, frosting, puppies, whatever. This one I actually asked for and received for Christmas from my mom. I've only used it once, to make an ice cream cake, but it's pretty cool and if I ever really had occasion to make cakes, I think it would see a lot more action. I sometimes forget that I own it and then I'll be in the closet and see it and be like, Oh, Betty Crocker Bake & Fill pan! You will amaze my friends! So, two enthusiastic thumbs up for this one, which actually is available all over the place.
You'd think I'd have learned my lesson with the Bender Ball- I'm not good with working out. I don't go to the gym, I don't go running, and I don't do workout tapes. But when I happened to catch the infomercial for Slim in 6 a few weeks ago, I knew, I just knew, that this was the one! This was the one that would work, and that I would stick to, and that would make me slim. Hopefully in 6. At first the infomercial said it was 5 easy payments of $19.99 and I was like, $100? Nah, way too much. But you know how those infomercials are. There's always more, more, more! If I called now, they'd make it just 3 payments of $19.99. And if I order now, I'd also get resistance bands, a $20 value, FREE! And if I order now, they'd include some other workout tape, and a measuring tape to see how fat I am, and a diet plan, and a bunch of other booklets! Ahhhhh! And for calling within the next 15 minutes, they'll upgrade me to express shipping for no charge, and I can get started right away! You win, Slim in 6, I'll order now. Click, click, credit card, and bam, 2 days later I am the proud owner of the Slim in 6 workout package. I bought it with the promise to myself that I will use it. Today was day 2 and I'm so sore that I can barely walk. It's totally kicking my butt. Ugh. That is probably more of a sign of my out-of-shapeness than the quality of the workout program, but I'm determined to stick this one out.
Now if I could only get my hands on that Slap-Chop...
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