New Thing: Acupuncture

I've been wanting to try acupuncture because it seems pretty weird. I mean, poking needles into your body, for health? Sounds pretty far fetched. Sounds pretty sketchy. Sign me up!

I didn't want to get acupuncture just for relaxation because honestly, I'd rather just get a massage. So when I hurt my neck attempting to do a pull-up, I was like yes! Finally a legit reason to be acupunctured!

A little bit of Googling led me community acupuncture, which offers, according to their website, affordable acupuncture in an open setting. That means you're in a room with other people. Which seems a little strange, but your clothes are on and your eyes are closed and it's cheap. Sold. I made an appointment for the following day. The appointment times were 10 minutes apart which seemed kind of short but I guess it doesn't take that long to stab someone with a bunch of needles. The rest of the time is more...inactive. So your therapist or whatever can be off needling others, I suppose.

I showed up at the place a little early so I could have a consultation with the guy who would be doing my treatment- Keith. He was also the founder of the community acupuncture place I chose, so I figured he was probably an expert. Keith asked about my issue, said he knew exactly what the problem was, explained how the treatment would go, and we were off. The room was dimly lit, full of recliners and had that mellow/annoying spa-type music that consists mainly of windchimes and bamboo flutes. It was pretty chill. There were other people in there, but they were all asleep or dead or something. They definitely weren't paying attention to me.

My therapist (This may not be the right term, I'm not sure) started by placing a few needles in my foot. I kind of laughed when he did it and he was like "Oh, am I hitting the funny spots?" I was all, "No, it's just that this is really weird." He agreed. "I've been doing this for a long time; it's totally weird." Well that inspires confidence, doesn't it? Ha. He continued tapping the needles in here and there. A few in my foot, my hands, one in the top of my head, one between my eyes. He put one right into the neck muscle that was giving me trouble. That one he kind of wiggled around, trying to get the muscle to relax. Apparently it was all in a knot. Most of the needles going in were just a little pinch but that one...super weird, you guys. It didn't hurt, it was just bizarre. Like, pressure, I guess? It was strange. The neck needle didn't stay in the whole time, probably because you can't really relax in a recliner if you have a needle in the back of your neck.

Once all the needles were in position, he left me alone. He said most people stay from 30 minutes to an hour. It was a little weird, just lying there, not moving out of fear of jostling a needle or accidentally hitting one and stabbing it all the way into my body, but not uncomfortable.

Keith came back about 45 minutes later and asked if I was done. I said yes. Like, how would I know? I was feeling pretty bored though, so, yes, I was done. He pulled the needles out and advised that for acute conditions like mine, it usually takes 2-3 visits to cure it. He said to come back in 2-3 days if it was like 30-50% better but if it was more like 80% better I could come back in a week. Well, it's been about 5 days and I'd say it is 0% better but I haven't been back. Not because I'm unwilling but just because I haven't made time and it's in a construction zone and just the idea of trying to get there makes me tired. Excuses excuses.

I'll probably do it again. I don't feel cured but I also didn't follow the treatment instructions. I know a lot of people who say they've really been helped by acupuncture, so I think there's definitely something to it. And it is relaxing. I mean, it's no massage, but it's kind of like a nap. Plus, (Putting on my Insurance Hat), you can pay for it with funds from your Health Savings Account, if you have one! Sign me up for tax benefits, yes please. In conclusion, to echo Martha- acupuncture: (I think) it's a good thing.


Josh said…
I think the correct term may be Needle Lord.

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