I'm Wyatt Earp.
Sometimes there are bird fights on the sidewalk outside my office and I have to go out there and bust them up. Maybe it's some kind of weird mating ritual, but from where I sit it just looks like bird-on-bird violence and I can't just sit idly by and watch them peck each other to death, rolling around on the ground like a couple of animals. Savior of birds, I am.
What I actually wanted to tell you about is my gun shooting. Last week my friend and I went to this firearm safety class that we bought online. One of those daily deals, you know? It was supposed to be a 4-hour NRA certified course where we would learn about safely handling a rifle, shotgun and pistol. And shoot a bunch of stuff to pieces, obviously. Anyway, we showed up at the address on the coupon and it's some dude's house. The "class" was just the two of us, chilling on this guy's couch while he read us random facts about guns from a laptop screen that we couldn't view. Occasionally our "instructor" would stop mid-sentence and stare out the front door. "Is that a plane?" Silence. "No, just a car." He kept talking about his industrial accident and the time he blew a gang banger's head off. My favorite part of the lesson was learning about bullets. Did you know that a hollow-point is unlikely to over-penetrate, even if the target is a skinny crackhead? Yes, well...Fact. So he talked about guns and he talked about bullets and he talked about the Super Guppy, which has nothing to do with guns in case you were wondering. Thankfully the "classroom" portion of the lesson only lasted like 30 minutes. Then we all hopped into his truck- I mean, why not, right? He's just a random gun fanatic that we'd known for a grand total of 27 minutes. Why not get into his vehicle? - and off to the gun range we went.
The gun range was awesome- I shot my target all to pieces. Well, not really, as it was a piece of paper, but I definitely killed that paper many times over. We also got more stories about the guy and his gun-toting friends, and how gun safety is important but sometimes you accidentally drop a loaded gun and shoot people and it's hilarious. Ahaha, gun comedy is so great.
So there is really no point to this story except that now I want a purple handgun. The end. Also, here is a drawing I made of a weasel. Never mind, it's not a weasel. It's an angry lion.
What I actually wanted to tell you about is my gun shooting. Last week my friend and I went to this firearm safety class that we bought online. One of those daily deals, you know? It was supposed to be a 4-hour NRA certified course where we would learn about safely handling a rifle, shotgun and pistol. And shoot a bunch of stuff to pieces, obviously. Anyway, we showed up at the address on the coupon and it's some dude's house. The "class" was just the two of us, chilling on this guy's couch while he read us random facts about guns from a laptop screen that we couldn't view. Occasionally our "instructor" would stop mid-sentence and stare out the front door. "Is that a plane?" Silence. "No, just a car." He kept talking about his industrial accident and the time he blew a gang banger's head off. My favorite part of the lesson was learning about bullets. Did you know that a hollow-point is unlikely to over-penetrate, even if the target is a skinny crackhead? Yes, well...Fact. So he talked about guns and he talked about bullets and he talked about the Super Guppy, which has nothing to do with guns in case you were wondering. Thankfully the "classroom" portion of the lesson only lasted like 30 minutes. Then we all hopped into his truck- I mean, why not, right? He's just a random gun fanatic that we'd known for a grand total of 27 minutes. Why not get into his vehicle? - and off to the gun range we went.
The gun range was awesome- I shot my target all to pieces. Well, not really, as it was a piece of paper, but I definitely killed that paper many times over. We also got more stories about the guy and his gun-toting friends, and how gun safety is important but sometimes you accidentally drop a loaded gun and shoot people and it's hilarious. Ahaha, gun comedy is so great.
So there is really no point to this story except that now I want a purple handgun. The end. Also, here is a drawing I made of a weasel. Never mind, it's not a weasel. It's an angry lion.
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