The time where I do blog about my cat.
(AKA, the Cat Catastrophe)
There's this thing on the Internet. A meme, I guess? It's a cat, lurking behind something, and it says SOON. Like, SOON, I will kill you, basically. At least that's how I interpret it. My former roommate/cousin (she's still my cousin, just not my roommate) and I would often take pictures of my cat looking creepy and send them to each other with the caption "SOON" because we knew that one day she'd snap and murder us all. Like this:
And that was funny to us because it wasn't true. The cat more or less never tried to kill either one of us.
Cut to last week, when my normally standard cat lost her mind and attacked me. One minute she was perfectly normal and the next minute she was a growling, hissing ball of fur, teeth and claws. To say it was terrifying would be an understatement. I had a friend over which made it even more awkward. "Oh, this is my cat, don't mind her. She just wants to claw your face off, I guess. It's something new she's doing."
We were sitting on the couch and suddenly the cat was behind us, standing on her hind legs, looking over the top of the cushions at us. We were almost goners! We escaped to the back patio and the demon sat on the kitchen counter, watching us and hissing the whole time we were out there. Eventually I just sent him home because you really can't entertain when your pet is having a mental breakdown.
Then it was just the two of us- me versus the cat. She trapped me between my bed and the bathroom. She was ready to attack and I was afraid to turn my back, so I decided the best course of action was to go for her with my hands before she attached herself to my bare legs.
So that went well.
I retreated to the bathroom to nurse my wounds. The cat stationed herself outside the door, hissing and growling. I was trapped. At that point I just gave up and made myself a towel bed on the floor, damp washcloths wrapped around my bloody hands. Obviously I wasn't getting out without a fight and I wasn't prepared to do battle with her again. If you've never spent the night locked in your bathroom on a bed made of towels, well...I can't recommend it really. Maybe this counts as a new thing- spend the night in an unusual location.
In the morning I crept out of the bathroom. The cat was on top of the dresser, watching, but she didn't make a move to assault me so I ventured into my bed. Suddenly I heard her hop off the dresser and when I looked up she was standing, again on her hind legs, at the end of my bed. Watching. I snatched my phone off the charger and fled into the bathroom again. I have 2 spare bedrooms in my house. I don't know why I went for the bathroom, but I did. I settled back onto my towel bed and e-mailed my sister about my predicament. She laughed, as sisters do.
This is kind of a boring story. Blah blah blah. Somehow I got out of the bathroom with the supplies I needed to get ready for my day, and I escaped from the bedroom while leaving murder cat trapped inside. Win. My nurse cousin (I have a lot of cousins) told me to get my wounds examined since it is not in my cat's nature to randomly attack people. I ended up with a round of antibiotics, yay. It's been a week and I can finally bend my thumb the way a thumb is supposed to bend. The cat is more or less back to normal, although obviously I can never trust her again. I may or may not have spent a day roaming around my house in protective gear consisting of jeans, a hoodie, and 2 oven mitts, but fortunately I didn't have to test them out.
Cats, man. I don't even know.
There's this thing on the Internet. A meme, I guess? It's a cat, lurking behind something, and it says SOON. Like, SOON, I will kill you, basically. At least that's how I interpret it. My former roommate/cousin (she's still my cousin, just not my roommate) and I would often take pictures of my cat looking creepy and send them to each other with the caption "SOON" because we knew that one day she'd snap and murder us all. Like this:
Cut to last week, when my normally standard cat lost her mind and attacked me. One minute she was perfectly normal and the next minute she was a growling, hissing ball of fur, teeth and claws. To say it was terrifying would be an understatement. I had a friend over which made it even more awkward. "Oh, this is my cat, don't mind her. She just wants to claw your face off, I guess. It's something new she's doing."
We were sitting on the couch and suddenly the cat was behind us, standing on her hind legs, looking over the top of the cushions at us. We were almost goners! We escaped to the back patio and the demon sat on the kitchen counter, watching us and hissing the whole time we were out there. Eventually I just sent him home because you really can't entertain when your pet is having a mental breakdown.
Then it was just the two of us- me versus the cat. She trapped me between my bed and the bathroom. She was ready to attack and I was afraid to turn my back, so I decided the best course of action was to go for her with my hands before she attached herself to my bare legs.
So that went well.
I retreated to the bathroom to nurse my wounds. The cat stationed herself outside the door, hissing and growling. I was trapped. At that point I just gave up and made myself a towel bed on the floor, damp washcloths wrapped around my bloody hands. Obviously I wasn't getting out without a fight and I wasn't prepared to do battle with her again. If you've never spent the night locked in your bathroom on a bed made of towels, well...I can't recommend it really. Maybe this counts as a new thing- spend the night in an unusual location.
In the morning I crept out of the bathroom. The cat was on top of the dresser, watching, but she didn't make a move to assault me so I ventured into my bed. Suddenly I heard her hop off the dresser and when I looked up she was standing, again on her hind legs, at the end of my bed. Watching. I snatched my phone off the charger and fled into the bathroom again. I have 2 spare bedrooms in my house. I don't know why I went for the bathroom, but I did. I settled back onto my towel bed and e-mailed my sister about my predicament. She laughed, as sisters do.
This is kind of a boring story. Blah blah blah. Somehow I got out of the bathroom with the supplies I needed to get ready for my day, and I escaped from the bedroom while leaving murder cat trapped inside. Win. My nurse cousin (I have a lot of cousins) told me to get my wounds examined since it is not in my cat's nature to randomly attack people. I ended up with a round of antibiotics, yay. It's been a week and I can finally bend my thumb the way a thumb is supposed to bend. The cat is more or less back to normal, although obviously I can never trust her again. I may or may not have spent a day roaming around my house in protective gear consisting of jeans, a hoodie, and 2 oven mitts, but fortunately I didn't have to test them out.
Cats, man. I don't even know.
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