Just because you're paranoid...
When I was younger I had this book, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. It was pretty cool, full of scary stories. To tell in the dark. There was a story in the book about a girl who was driving home at night when a car behind her kept flashing his lights and driving really close. He followed her all the way home and when she got to her house she jumped out and was all scared that he was a psycho and then he was all, no! I'm not a psycho! There's a killer in the back seat of your car and I could see him and every time he'd get ready to stab you in your head, I flashed my lights and he ducked down again. Then of course they looked and there was the killer, hiding in the back seat of her car, and she was saved by the guy who she thought was a psycho. Ok, it's been a while since I read the story so I'm foggy on the details and I'm sure it was much more thrilling in the book. Anyway, because of that story, every time I am driving at night and someone shines their headlights in my back window (as is apt to happen when you are, oh, driving on a road), I think they're trying to save me from a killer in the back seat. But of course I'm never brave enough to actually check the back seat. Chances are if I turned around the killer would stab me in my face.
Also. Whenever I am driving behind a truck that's full of cars...that sounds weird. You know, like a tow truck? Or a truck hauler. Or a truck carrying logs or pipes or cows, whatever. I am always a little afraid that the whole load is going to fall off and smash me. That hasn't happened yet but I figure it's only a matter of time.
The other day I was discussing with my friends how in my parent's living room there are exposed beams. When watching TV, etc. I liked to line myself up between the beams so that in the event that one suddenly became dislodged, I wouldn't get smashed. Alternately, I'd lie (against my better judgment) perpendicular to the beams and consider whether I'd be wounded or killed should the beam drop. Head shot- dead. Stomach- probably dead. Legs- crippled, but alive.
Just me, then?
I am constantly surprised that there is only one E in judgment. How did I make it this far in life without knowing that? And by this far, I mean 29 years, not like I've come so far and am so wildly successful and wise that I should know how to spell all the words. I mean, I should know how to spell all the words- no excuse for bad spelling, I always say. Just kidding, I made that up just now. I'm such a phony.
Also. Whenever I am driving behind a truck that's full of cars...that sounds weird. You know, like a tow truck? Or a truck hauler. Or a truck carrying logs or pipes or cows, whatever. I am always a little afraid that the whole load is going to fall off and smash me. That hasn't happened yet but I figure it's only a matter of time.
The other day I was discussing with my friends how in my parent's living room there are exposed beams. When watching TV, etc. I liked to line myself up between the beams so that in the event that one suddenly became dislodged, I wouldn't get smashed. Alternately, I'd lie (against my better judgment) perpendicular to the beams and consider whether I'd be wounded or killed should the beam drop. Head shot- dead. Stomach- probably dead. Legs- crippled, but alive.
Just me, then?
I am constantly surprised that there is only one E in judgment. How did I make it this far in life without knowing that? And by this far, I mean 29 years, not like I've come so far and am so wildly successful and wise that I should know how to spell all the words. I mean, I should know how to spell all the words- no excuse for bad spelling, I always say. Just kidding, I made that up just now. I'm such a phony.
Comments
I also have that fear about cars rolling off the haulers onto me. Other things don't bother me though.