Pipe down, Robot.

Let's have a chat.
Let's talk about sports.
Just kidding.
Let's not.
Let's talk about how we don't want to do work.
Or answer that phone that's ringing.
Or why my new phone sometimes makes random robot sounds.
Even though it's on vibrate.
Let's not talk about sentence fragments.
Let's talk about being patient.
And how to know if your waiting is practicing patience.
Or just wasting time.
Let's talk about wanting to punch people in the face.
Even if you don't have a good reason.
Just a general desire to punch.
Let's talk about how much time you can waste having one sided conversations.
And whether that means you need therapy or something.
And by you, obviously I mean me.
You're just an innocent reader.
You are not crazy.
Or maybe you are.
I don't know your life.
Let's talk about how to make it look like someone was murdered in my bathroom.
Just kidding.
I already know how to do that.
I just wanted to write it to see how it looks in print.
A little scary, as it turns out.
Oh well.
That's how I roll.
It's taken me like thirty minutes to write this.
Amazing, right?
You probably thought I dashed it off in fifteen seconds.
But I didn't.
I took a break to go read another blog.
A funnier blog than this one.
I'm not telling what it is though.
Or you'll all abandon me.
When you see how much funnier other people are.
And then I will punch you in the face.
Pew pew pew.
That's not punching.
That's like laser guns.
But it sounds cooler than pow pow pow.
Pew pew pew.
Have a nice Monday.