I wouldn't eat that if I were you...
Last Friday my roommate of 5 years moved out and I decided that it was the perfect opportunity to clean out the refrigerator. When you share a fridge it's a lot of effort to determine who owns what and do they still want it, so I just waited until she was gone and then undertook a master cleanse.
I found things in there that expired in 2002. I found 3 jars of pickles- I don't even eat pickles. I'm pretty sure they were purchased for my sister's graduation- 7 years ago. There was a bag of mini bagels from Trader Joe's that were so hard I could have used them as a weapon. I had to sacrifice 2 Gladware containers- one with mashed potatoes that I made before Christmas and one with something that looked like it may have been a cube of moldy tofu. I found the requisite jar of pimientos. Why would I have a jar of pimientos? I have decided that they are the product of an illicit union between ranch dressing (5 bottles) and pickle relish (2 jars). I bet if you look on the top shelf of your refrigerator right now, a little jar of pimientos will be there somewhere, lurking near its parents. You didn't buy it, because why on Earth would you? And yet, there it is.
Three trash bags later, I now have a bachelor fridge. Seriously. After throwing out everything that was expired (read: EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE REFRIGERATOR)I now have 2 pineapples, 6 containers of berries, mustard, 3 wedges of Laughing Cow cheese, an egg, and alcohol which, although it has been in there for years, I can't bring myself to throw out.
Did I just write a blog about how my refrigerator was full of rancid condiments? Yes, yes I did, Internet. And I didn't even blush. Stay tuned for the next installment- 'You Should Be Ashamed of Yourself- The Freezer'.
I found things in there that expired in 2002. I found 3 jars of pickles- I don't even eat pickles. I'm pretty sure they were purchased for my sister's graduation- 7 years ago. There was a bag of mini bagels from Trader Joe's that were so hard I could have used them as a weapon. I had to sacrifice 2 Gladware containers- one with mashed potatoes that I made before Christmas and one with something that looked like it may have been a cube of moldy tofu. I found the requisite jar of pimientos. Why would I have a jar of pimientos? I have decided that they are the product of an illicit union between ranch dressing (5 bottles) and pickle relish (2 jars). I bet if you look on the top shelf of your refrigerator right now, a little jar of pimientos will be there somewhere, lurking near its parents. You didn't buy it, because why on Earth would you? And yet, there it is.
Three trash bags later, I now have a bachelor fridge. Seriously. After throwing out everything that was expired (read: EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE REFRIGERATOR)I now have 2 pineapples, 6 containers of berries, mustard, 3 wedges of Laughing Cow cheese, an egg, and alcohol which, although it has been in there for years, I can't bring myself to throw out.
Did I just write a blog about how my refrigerator was full of rancid condiments? Yes, yes I did, Internet. And I didn't even blush. Stay tuned for the next installment- 'You Should Be Ashamed of Yourself- The Freezer'.
Comments
i can take at least one of those pineapples off your hands this weekend.