I can't think of a title so I'm just going to type some random junk in here and see how that goes. I think it's working out.

The other day I was leaving this Super Bowl party and I started to drive off with a cutting board on the roof of my car. Then I braked and it slid down the windshield and made a loud bang and scared me 80% to death. Then I had to get out all casually and get the cutting board off my windshield and hope my friend hadn't been watching from her car, because it's kind of embarrassing to leave crap on your roof, especially when it's something weird like a wooden cutting board, because most people don't even take wooden cutting boards to Super Bowl parties, but that is what my food was on and I am just that lazy that I couldn't be bothered to put it on something more practical. Of course the cutting board left an inch-long mark on my windshield, and the whole way home I couldn't tell if it was a crack or just cheese. And then I got stressed out because I'm thinking of switching insurance carriers soon, and I'd need to get that crack fixed before I did so. But I already got my window fixed once and I don't want them to think I'm committing insurance fraud or anything, because I'd  never do that. I just really care about glass safety. And auto insurance is like health insurance; they won't cover pre-existing conditions. Even if that condition is something as unusual as a crack from a falling cutting board. I bet the window repair guys have never heard that before. But I can picture the exact look I'd get if I tried telling the window guy that story. It's not a nice look. It's the "Uh huh, there there, crazy lady. Go home to your cats now," kind of look. The good news is that there is no crack, only cheese on my window. So I just left that stuff there, because cheese makes me happy. And now when I see that little mark, I'm like, aha, the falling cutting board. That was funny. And I chuckle to myself. Not really though. I never chuckle, because chuckle is a stupid word. But I probably do smile to myself and then I feel stupid because it's weird when people are driving alone and smiling to themselves. It probably would've been better if it was a crack, because then I'd see it and scowl, and people don't care as much if you're scowling. Then I'd make Progressive fix the crack then I'd cancel my policy and switch to GEICO and Warren Buffett would be so happy he'd probably give me a half a billion dollars or so. And then I'd buy a drum kit and some toy dinosaurs.