Why Is The Day So Sloooooooooooooow?
There are these two giant flies bothering me right now. They are hanging out in the window next to my desk buzzing around and being generally irritating. Sometimes they come out of the blinds and swoop around my head, just to be extra gross. And it is extra gross, because these are giant flies. Definitely the size of dinosaurs. Pterodactyls. Giant Pterodactyl flies.
I want to get a string and lasso one of the flies and make it do circus tricks, but I don't have any string. Too bad. I bet it would be pretty funny to have flies on strings. Well, live flies would be funny. Dead flies would be gross. And weird. I draw the line at being weird.
Haha, yeah right.
This morning I totally got called out in the grocery store for wearing my sweater inside out. This nice woman in line was all, "Did you mean to be inside out?" Yes, ma'am, I often wear my work clothes inside out. I want everyone to see my size and brand and seams. I am MAKING. A. STATEMENT.
I didn't really say that. I was really like, "Oh, wow, no- Thank you so much!" Awkward laughter. Fix sweater. The lady tried to make me feel better. "I understand." she said. "I have three kids. That stuff happens to me all the time." I have a cat. She pulls these clothes flipping shenanigans all the time. It's out of control.
No, I didn't really say that either. I had to admit I couldn't blame it on any kids. It's no one's fault but my own- I am too lazy to hang my clothes up correctly and too lazy to give myself a once-over before I walk out the door. What can I say? I was preoccupied thinking about doughnuts.
Dudes, can you believe that the internet just told me that Pterodactyls aren't even dinosaurs? What? My mind is blown. Apparently they aren't even Pterodactyls. They're Pterosaurs.
When you write Pterodactyl over and over, it starts to look like it's not even a word. Pterodactyl. Pterodactyl.
Whoa. The internet also just told me that Brontosaurus is obsolete. Well yeah he's obsolete, he's a dinosaur! Ha. I kid. But seriously. No more Brontosaurus? No Pterodactyl? What is this world coming to? Next thing you know they'll be all, Pluto is not a planet.
Whatever. I'm going to start a fly circus.
I want to get a string and lasso one of the flies and make it do circus tricks, but I don't have any string. Too bad. I bet it would be pretty funny to have flies on strings. Well, live flies would be funny. Dead flies would be gross. And weird. I draw the line at being weird.
Haha, yeah right.
This morning I totally got called out in the grocery store for wearing my sweater inside out. This nice woman in line was all, "Did you mean to be inside out?" Yes, ma'am, I often wear my work clothes inside out. I want everyone to see my size and brand and seams. I am MAKING. A. STATEMENT.
I didn't really say that. I was really like, "Oh, wow, no- Thank you so much!" Awkward laughter. Fix sweater. The lady tried to make me feel better. "I understand." she said. "I have three kids. That stuff happens to me all the time." I have a cat. She pulls these clothes flipping shenanigans all the time. It's out of control.
No, I didn't really say that either. I had to admit I couldn't blame it on any kids. It's no one's fault but my own- I am too lazy to hang my clothes up correctly and too lazy to give myself a once-over before I walk out the door. What can I say? I was preoccupied thinking about doughnuts.
Dudes, can you believe that the internet just told me that Pterodactyls aren't even dinosaurs? What? My mind is blown. Apparently they aren't even Pterodactyls. They're Pterosaurs.
When you write Pterodactyl over and over, it starts to look like it's not even a word. Pterodactyl. Pterodactyl.
Whoa. The internet also just told me that Brontosaurus is obsolete. Well yeah he's obsolete, he's a dinosaur! Ha. I kid. But seriously. No more Brontosaurus? No Pterodactyl? What is this world coming to? Next thing you know they'll be all, Pluto is not a planet.
Whatever. I'm going to start a fly circus.
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