These are the Facts.
The water dispenser on my refrigerator has stopped working. I don't use it often because I don't really drink, so it's not that big of a deal. But last night I wanted some water and I went to fill my glass and of course nothing happened. So I stood there for a minute, holding my empty cup, trying to figure out what to do. I was like, ugh, broken refrigerator, what am I going to dooooooo? I need a drink! Then I realized I could also get water straight from the faucet, as if by magic. Oh, that really happened. I'm sure that this is a sad commentary on something, but I haven't really figured out what.
On an unrelated note: There is this mobile car washing company that comes around to our office complex and one time my boss hired them to do his car, so now they're always popping in here to see if we want our cars washed. I never, ever want my car washed, because it's at least $20 and that's just ridiculous when I could go to the $3 place and get it done for, well, $3. Just now the guy was in here, waiting for my boss to get off the phone, and he's like, "When are we going to do your car?" And as I was in the middle of reading an article about Taylor Swift's hair, I was annoyed at the interruption and without looking up from my screen replied, "Uh, probably never?" But clearly the guy is not that good at reading signals (which is true for all guys, I have learned, but that is a subject for another post) and so he carried on with his line of questioning. "Oh, does your husband take care of all that for you then?" Yeah, buddy. That's exactly how it goes. I lounge on the couch watching soaps and eating bon bons while my husband details my car. Precisely. You've discovered my secret. Get out. I think I actually said something like, "No, I just never wash it." And he said, "Well, at least you're honest." Which is not entirely true because if I was honest I'd have told him that $20 is way too much for a car wash and I'd rather go to the $3 place and get a free vacuum and use their floor mat cleaning machine. But I didn't say any of that. I just dashed off an email in a very frenzied, loud-typing manner so that he'd know I am busy and important and that he should leave me alone. But he just carried on, talking about how he had first gone to the wrong office and there was a prisoner in there. Then he wanted change for a twenty. And finally he left but by then I didn't even care about Taylor Swift's hair anymore.
It's very, very likely that I will lose my mind before I get out of here for Thanksgiving. Like, extremely likely. It may even be too late. I'm just sayin'.
Wait. Something just occurred to me. Was that guy asking about my husband because he was trying to find out if I have a husband? Did I just get hit on by the car washing guy? Surely not...surely I'd know if someone was hitting on me? Possibly?
Oh, yeah, we all know I totally would not. I've accidentally been on dates before because I didn't realize what was going on. But maybe this guy is just friendly and chatty and wanted to sell some car washes. Yes. I'm going with that.
Is it time to go home yet?
On an unrelated note: There is this mobile car washing company that comes around to our office complex and one time my boss hired them to do his car, so now they're always popping in here to see if we want our cars washed. I never, ever want my car washed, because it's at least $20 and that's just ridiculous when I could go to the $3 place and get it done for, well, $3. Just now the guy was in here, waiting for my boss to get off the phone, and he's like, "When are we going to do your car?" And as I was in the middle of reading an article about Taylor Swift's hair, I was annoyed at the interruption and without looking up from my screen replied, "Uh, probably never?" But clearly the guy is not that good at reading signals (which is true for all guys, I have learned, but that is a subject for another post) and so he carried on with his line of questioning. "Oh, does your husband take care of all that for you then?" Yeah, buddy. That's exactly how it goes. I lounge on the couch watching soaps and eating bon bons while my husband details my car. Precisely. You've discovered my secret. Get out. I think I actually said something like, "No, I just never wash it." And he said, "Well, at least you're honest." Which is not entirely true because if I was honest I'd have told him that $20 is way too much for a car wash and I'd rather go to the $3 place and get a free vacuum and use their floor mat cleaning machine. But I didn't say any of that. I just dashed off an email in a very frenzied, loud-typing manner so that he'd know I am busy and important and that he should leave me alone. But he just carried on, talking about how he had first gone to the wrong office and there was a prisoner in there. Then he wanted change for a twenty. And finally he left but by then I didn't even care about Taylor Swift's hair anymore.
It's very, very likely that I will lose my mind before I get out of here for Thanksgiving. Like, extremely likely. It may even be too late. I'm just sayin'.
Wait. Something just occurred to me. Was that guy asking about my husband because he was trying to find out if I have a husband? Did I just get hit on by the car washing guy? Surely not...surely I'd know if someone was hitting on me? Possibly?
Oh, yeah, we all know I totally would not. I've accidentally been on dates before because I didn't realize what was going on. But maybe this guy is just friendly and chatty and wanted to sell some car washes. Yes. I'm going with that.
Is it time to go home yet?
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