Things Rich People Like
I have a lot to do today. A lot. So it makes sense to not do any of it and come here instead, to discuss something that's been troubling me.
The other day at lunch I was looking at this catalog that we got. I came across this item:
In case you can't tell what that is, it's a monkey orchestra. A porcelain monkey orchestra. And I was like, BJ! I found what I am getting you for Christmas! Because really, what is a more ridiculous and funny gift than a monkey orchestra?
And then I saw the price. $1750. For one monkey. Technically, $1750 for the cheapest monkey- the triangle player. Ranging up to $2750 for the conductor. So to own this entire monkey orchestra, you'd be looking at around $14,000.
For porcelain monkeys.
Playing instruments.
What?
Why?
No, but really. Why?
Warren Buffett, would you spend $14,000 on a monkey orchestra? I think not.
I'm almost certain that for $14,000 you could buy a plane ticket to India, obtain actual live monkeys, teach them to play instruments, dress them in little outfits and go on tour as the one-and-only monkey orchestra. You'd almost definitely get rich off of this scheme.
Not so with the porcelain monkeys. With the porcelain monkeys, you have to spend $14,000 to get them. Plus shipping. Then they just sit around, not actually playing music. Then your kid breaks one and you're like, That was a $2000 porcelain trumpeting monkey! What is wrong with you? THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!!!
I might not be cut out for richness.
Another thing I guess rich people like is a nice footstool. Shaped like an animal.
Here is an assortment that I gathered from their website. It's worth noting that these footstools cost less than a single monkey, so even though they look pretty luxurious and fancy, they're actually quite affordable. I think when you're rich you probably like to come home after a hard days work, relax with your feet up on your leather lion, and admire your porcelain monkey orchestra. What a life.
I guess that's all I have to say about that. I hope one day I'm rich though because I really want that bear. It would look great in my living room.
The other day at lunch I was looking at this catalog that we got. I came across this item:
And then I saw the price. $1750. For one monkey. Technically, $1750 for the cheapest monkey- the triangle player. Ranging up to $2750 for the conductor. So to own this entire monkey orchestra, you'd be looking at around $14,000.
For porcelain monkeys.
Playing instruments.
What?
Why?
No, but really. Why?
Warren Buffett, would you spend $14,000 on a monkey orchestra? I think not.
I'm almost certain that for $14,000 you could buy a plane ticket to India, obtain actual live monkeys, teach them to play instruments, dress them in little outfits and go on tour as the one-and-only monkey orchestra. You'd almost definitely get rich off of this scheme.
Not so with the porcelain monkeys. With the porcelain monkeys, you have to spend $14,000 to get them. Plus shipping. Then they just sit around, not actually playing music. Then your kid breaks one and you're like, That was a $2000 porcelain trumpeting monkey! What is wrong with you? THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!!!
I might not be cut out for richness.
Another thing I guess rich people like is a nice footstool. Shaped like an animal.
Here is an assortment that I gathered from their website. It's worth noting that these footstools cost less than a single monkey, so even though they look pretty luxurious and fancy, they're actually quite affordable. I think when you're rich you probably like to come home after a hard days work, relax with your feet up on your leather lion, and admire your porcelain monkey orchestra. What a life.
I guess that's all I have to say about that. I hope one day I'm rich though because I really want that bear. It would look great in my living room.
Comments
Also, are these life size monkeys?