I'm not really one to complain.

Just now this truck came tearing into my office complex and there was all this smoke pouring out of the front tire area and I was like oh wow, that truck is almost definitely going to explode or burst into flames or something really exciting! I will write a blog about it! But then I watched for a minute or so and the truck didn't catch on fire or anything. The smoke just went away, then a guy got out and looked under the hood, but no one died and nothing dramatic happened. False alarm. I almost had something exciting to tell you guys about, but then it turned out to be nothing interesting at all. Just a guy in a smoking truck. Sorry to disappoint. I guess you wouldn't be disappointed if I hadn't told you about how it was almost exciting. Oh well.

One time I had this car and smoke was coming out from under the hood. I was applying for a job and in the interview they were like, Do you have reliable transportation? And I lied and said yes even though my car was out in the parking lot, smoking, as we spoke. Then it turned it to be a power steering fluid leak and for a while I was like a mechanic and I'd just pop open the hood and add more fluid like I knew what I was doing. So that was cool. Well, having a broken car isn't that cool, but working on your car is kind of cool. Cool-looking, anyway.

Remember when I was constantly setting off my car alarm like some kind of crazy that doesn't know how to work technology? And by technology, I just mean the keyless entry remote, naturally. Well dudes, I think I figured out the problem. When you open the car door, you have to do it with purpose. If you hesitate while opening, the car knows. The car is like, you do not have the authority to enter. And then it starts honking. I know it sounds crazy, but it's totally true. If I open the door with confidence, like, Look, car, I am your owner! Don't you dare beep at me! Then the car keeps silent. But the moment you hesitate- HONK HONK HONK!. It's true. I've tested it many times. Mystery solved. Shazam. I'm a regular Click and Clack. Just send your car questions to me and I'll take care of them. For realz.

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