There is nothing special about Tuesday.
I took yesterday off so today feels like Monday. People keep calling and e-mailing and giving me work and I'm like, "You people! STOP IT! IT IS MONDAY MORNING!" But it's not Monday morning. It's Tuesday. There is nothing special about Tuesday. You don't get to ease into Tuesday. You just have to do your work.
Would you like to hear a story about how I almost died? I'll make it quick. On Friday I got home from work and my house smelled like gas. Like natural gas. I looked and what do you know, a burner was on. Not on as in lit (I'm really not that stupid) but on, leaking out gas, filling up my house. So basically my house should've blown up. As you can probably tell by the not-panicked nature of this story, it did not blow up. I turned off the burner, opened all the windows, apologized to my cat for almost asphyxiating her, and continued on with my life. But a little bit I was like, ummm, holy cow! I totally could have died! Dudes! My cat could have been dead and my house could have exploded!
I would like to interrupt this story to tell you that right now my boss is eating some soup. The man does love a cup of soup. And he slurps it. And the sound of him slurping his soup is nearly enough to send me into a violent rage. I'm not even kidding. We're not in the same room. I should not have to endure the sound of someone slurping soup from another room. I am 99% sure that makes this a hostile work environment. I could probably file a lawsuit. And I'd probably win because I would take recordings of the slurping offense and no jury alive would let him go free. Or something. And then I'd be rich. And then I wouldn't have to be at work on a Tuesday when people are not paying their bills and not following their contracts and not getting claims paid and being very successful at making me want to pull my hair out.
Phew.
I feel better now.
Remember that time I almost blew up my house? That was pretty crazy. You know what is even more crazy? I was going to go straight to Camp Verde after work on Friday. I only went home because I had something to do Friday night, so I delayed my departure. If I'd gone straight home, my poor little cat would almost definitely be dead. And then maybe I'd go into my garage and it would explode and then I'd be dead! And then you guys couldn't read my blog anymore, and you'd be really sad! Aww. I'm glad all that didn't happen. I guess being alive and listening to soup slurping is better than being blown up and having a dead cat. Someone was looking out for me, I think.
I have to go to my work now.
Because it is Tuesday.
No excuses for not working on Tuesday.
Would you like to hear a story about how I almost died? I'll make it quick. On Friday I got home from work and my house smelled like gas. Like natural gas. I looked and what do you know, a burner was on. Not on as in lit (I'm really not that stupid) but on, leaking out gas, filling up my house. So basically my house should've blown up. As you can probably tell by the not-panicked nature of this story, it did not blow up. I turned off the burner, opened all the windows, apologized to my cat for almost asphyxiating her, and continued on with my life. But a little bit I was like, ummm, holy cow! I totally could have died! Dudes! My cat could have been dead and my house could have exploded!
I would like to interrupt this story to tell you that right now my boss is eating some soup. The man does love a cup of soup. And he slurps it. And the sound of him slurping his soup is nearly enough to send me into a violent rage. I'm not even kidding. We're not in the same room. I should not have to endure the sound of someone slurping soup from another room. I am 99% sure that makes this a hostile work environment. I could probably file a lawsuit. And I'd probably win because I would take recordings of the slurping offense and no jury alive would let him go free. Or something. And then I'd be rich. And then I wouldn't have to be at work on a Tuesday when people are not paying their bills and not following their contracts and not getting claims paid and being very successful at making me want to pull my hair out.
Phew.
I feel better now.
Remember that time I almost blew up my house? That was pretty crazy. You know what is even more crazy? I was going to go straight to Camp Verde after work on Friday. I only went home because I had something to do Friday night, so I delayed my departure. If I'd gone straight home, my poor little cat would almost definitely be dead. And then maybe I'd go into my garage and it would explode and then I'd be dead! And then you guys couldn't read my blog anymore, and you'd be really sad! Aww. I'm glad all that didn't happen. I guess being alive and listening to soup slurping is better than being blown up and having a dead cat. Someone was looking out for me, I think.
I have to go to my work now.
Because it is Tuesday.
No excuses for not working on Tuesday.
Comments