Bad Dates

Today I have composed a list of possibly crazy guys I have been out with. I hope it's amusing and not just terribly, terribly sad.


1. Yawn & Stretch. This was a guy I worked with who I was not remotely interested in, but I had not yet developed the ability to turn down a date, so I was somehow coerced into accompanying him to a movie. During the movie he did the old yawn-and-stretch move. Not cool, not cool at all. He kept trying to kiss me. I didn't know anything but his name. I said no thanks. After the movie, he tried again. I said let's not. He was not friendly at work anymore, not even in passing. I thought I let him down pretty easy, considering he had long yucky hair and showed up for the movie date in a cowboy outfit.

2. Muscles. This was a guy I met at a party in college. He was German and had really large, muscly arms. Bigger than my head, I bet. He lived across campus from me. We met outside my dorm and proceeded to walk to Chili's for dinner. I was in my date clothes. If you are familiar with Flagstaff and NAU, you will know that it is really not appropriate to walk from campus to Chili's in date shoes in the snow. For some reason the Weinermobile was outside Chili's. Fortunately he had a camera so I had the honor of taking pictures of him in front of it. I think I stopped returning his calls after that.

3. Pyscho. This was a guy that I sat next to in some college class. I'm foggy on the details, but he asked me to go bowling and I half-committed. I'll take some of the blame for this but not all, since it was not a firm date. In any case, I cancelled and he responded with an email typed in red slasher font. I can't find anything like it on Blogger, but just use your imagination. I can't remember what the e-mail said, but he was mad. And he used red slasher font! Um, can you say crazy?

4. Persistent. I technically did not date this guy. I was dating someone else when he started showing interest, not that I'd have dated him even if I had been single. He worked for an insurance carrier and would come around every so often on "sales calls". Sometimes I'd have to e-mail him with questions or whatever. He was constantly saying we should get lunch or coffee or go to the casino, and I'd act all oblivious and be like, Great idea, let me check with the rest of the office- they'll be so happy you're buying us lunch! I shot him down over and over and over again and he kept coming back. My co-workers, at least, thought it was hilarious. One time he tried to woo me with tales of all the comp dollars he got at the casino. Swoon.

That should give you a nice little taste. Readers, what is the worst date you've ever been on? Just kidding, I don't play that way.

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