Field Trip!
Hello class. Today we are taking an educational journey where we will learn about the Cold War. Do you know about the Cold War? You probably do. I did not, until now, so I will first enlighten you with my understanding of events:
Russia: I zink de United States vants to dominate the vorld.
USA: I think Russia wants to dominate the world!
Russia: Look at our fancy satellite, Sputnik.
USA: Oh no! They have a fancy satellite! That means they can shoot missiles at us! They will annihilate us!
Russia: Ve vill annihilate you!
USA: Oh yeah?! We will annihilate you too! But only if you annihilate us first. This large stash of ginormous missiles we have planted all over the desert will only be used to annihilate you if you start it. And these are freaking awesome giant missiles so if you even dare try to annihilate us, prepare to be destroyed. We can annihilate even after our whole country is blown off the map.
Then some other stuff happened and nobody annihilated anybody and then the Cold War ended and we took down all of our ginormous missiles save for one, which is now...drum roll........
The Titan Missile Museum! Can you say awesome, class? AWESOME! Well done!
Now that you understand the facts of the Cold War, let's get going!
Welcome to the missile facility. It has been decommissioned, but secretly I bet we're trying to pull one over on the Russians and could fire this baby at a moment's notice. There are still Russians, right?
We like to call it Installation 571 dash 7, because it sounds way more awesome. In this picture you can see many top secret things, like fuel trucks and jeeps and detectors and viewing platforms. That beige part in the middle is the roof of the missile silo. It goes 9 stories underground.
And now for the missile. The Titan II Intercontinental Ballistic Missile is equipped with a nine-megaton thermonuclear warheard. If you are not sure about how big nine-megatons is, it's big enough to annhilate Russia.
Just kidding, I made that up. But it's really big.
You can't really tell from these pictures, but the missile is 103 feet tall. It will blow you right up, for sure. It also goes really fast and can get to Russia in less than 30 minutes. Well, not this one, since it's all deactivated and whatnot.
Allegedly.
Those are all of the missile pictures I have for you. But now we all understand the Cold War and total annihilation and the Cuban Missile Crisis, and we can see that these missiles are all about peace. Peace, people, understand? Nothing says peace like 9 megatons of nuclear explosives, I say.
We'll conclude our field trip with a stop at the Mission San Xavier del Bac. You do not pronounce the X in San Xavier, so it's more like San A-Veer than San X-A-Ve-Er, which is kind of dumb, but whatever. The mission is more about peace than annihilation, but it is nice to look at. Maybe not as nice as a giant missile, but that is a matter personal preference. It is also a good place to buy delicious Indian Fry Bread. Yum.
That's the end of the field trip. I hope you enjoyed your tour of the awesomeness of Southern Arizona, and I hope you learned a lot about total annihilation and why having many missiles will prevent it.
Russia: I zink de United States vants to dominate the vorld.
USA: I think Russia wants to dominate the world!
Russia: Look at our fancy satellite, Sputnik.
USA: Oh no! They have a fancy satellite! That means they can shoot missiles at us! They will annihilate us!
Russia: Ve vill annihilate you!
USA: Oh yeah?! We will annihilate you too! But only if you annihilate us first. This large stash of ginormous missiles we have planted all over the desert will only be used to annihilate you if you start it. And these are freaking awesome giant missiles so if you even dare try to annihilate us, prepare to be destroyed. We can annihilate even after our whole country is blown off the map.
Then some other stuff happened and nobody annihilated anybody and then the Cold War ended and we took down all of our ginormous missiles save for one, which is now...drum roll........
The Titan Missile Museum! Can you say awesome, class? AWESOME! Well done!
Now that you understand the facts of the Cold War, let's get going!
Welcome to the missile facility. It has been decommissioned, but secretly I bet we're trying to pull one over on the Russians and could fire this baby at a moment's notice. There are still Russians, right?
We like to call it Installation 571 dash 7, because it sounds way more awesome. In this picture you can see many top secret things, like fuel trucks and jeeps and detectors and viewing platforms. That beige part in the middle is the roof of the missile silo. It goes 9 stories underground.
Just kidding, I made that up. But it's really big.
You can't really tell from these pictures, but the missile is 103 feet tall. It will blow you right up, for sure. It also goes really fast and can get to Russia in less than 30 minutes. Well, not this one, since it's all deactivated and whatnot.
Allegedly.
Those are all of the missile pictures I have for you. But now we all understand the Cold War and total annihilation and the Cuban Missile Crisis, and we can see that these missiles are all about peace. Peace, people, understand? Nothing says peace like 9 megatons of nuclear explosives, I say.
We'll conclude our field trip with a stop at the Mission San Xavier del Bac. You do not pronounce the X in San Xavier, so it's more like San A-Veer than San X-A-Ve-Er, which is kind of dumb, but whatever. The mission is more about peace than annihilation, but it is nice to look at. Maybe not as nice as a giant missile, but that is a matter personal preference. It is also a good place to buy delicious Indian Fry Bread. Yum.
Comments
On a lighter (or heavier) note, I could use some fry bread because I didn't eat nearly enough crap this weekend. I was trying to go up a size in jeans in 3 days or less :) Will we see you in AZ?
I hope to see you- it might have to be dinner on a weeknight or something because I'm kind of booked up this coming weekend and then you leave, but we'll figure it out.
I hope to see you- it might have to be dinner on a weeknight or something because I'm kind of booked up this coming weekend and then you leave, but we'll figure it out.